Here they come, the tears that I managed to hold back for so long.
Suddenly, today, they protested...and I had no choice but to let go.
I wonder how and why things change directions.
Will someone read this and call me stupid?
I do not care. Because I care way too much anyway.
I do not want to be called a weakling, because I am not one.
Here they come, the tears that I managed to hold back for so long.
Suddenly, today, they protested...and I had no choice but to let go.
Many years ago, when I was still a schoolgirl (and a typical one at that), my sister chanced upon a certain celebrity's phone number and passed it on to me. Now, I will not reveal who the celeb was, but I can tell you that she remains a very highly respected actor even today.
So, after dilly-dallying for a fairly long period of time, and several bouts of indecisiveness, I finally mustered the courage to pick up the phone one day and call her up.
She answered.
The typical schoolgirl that I was, my enthusiasm obviously showed.So I was scared I would offend her unknowingly. But to my delight,she was warm. And incredibly patient with my queries.
My conversations with her continued for over three years. I would ask her about showbiz, her roles and her family, and tell her about my school life, my interests and my family.
Then one day, she changed residences. And with that changed her phone number. We never spoke again.
*****************************************************
Every once in a while, I think of those times. And whenever I do, I am amazed by her down-to-earth persona. She was an established actor; she did not need to humour my whims. But she still did, because she cared enough to make a little girl smile.
I never did manage to meet her in person, but it is one thing I really want to do. Maybe someday, I will get a chance to interact with her again. And then, I will let her know how very special she made my childhood. And my life.
Much Love,
Me.
2009 was a year that will always make me smile. I think, in the past few months, I've grown up in a way I really needed to. I feel wiser; I feel like I know myself much better now than I did a year ago.
This was a fulfilling year, so to speak.I did a lot of good work academically, I blogged a lot more than I did in the past two years and I formed new bonds with new people and redefined bonds with some old friends.
I also made my own share of mistakes, like I always do. But I guess now I just know how to deal with them much better.
I surprised and shocked myself like I'd never imagined. Maybe it was thrill, maybe it was my genuineness. Nonetheless, the woman staring back at me from across the mirror smiles knowingly; like she understands more about life now than she ever did before.
Life sprang surprises on me too. And quite a few of them. I think I learnt from them that when you become indifferent to something, no matter how important it was to you at some point of time, it walks up to you on its own and gives you what you deserve.
I unearthed a few forgotten talents. I started working on a few of them, and I realised that some of them needed desperate sculpting.
I travelled. I saw new places, and met people. And I shopped.
I learnt certain things about male psychology that will always help me. And God knows how badly I needed such lessons.
I sang in front of an audience after ages.
I understood that an apparent 'lack of expressions' can convey much more than words or actions.
I took risks.
I wore a saree to the Pujo for the first time
And, most importantly, I felt like 'God's Child' after years.
I wonder what 2010 has in store for me. But whether good or bad, I know that one year later, I will have learnt much more than I know today. And I look forward to all that learning.
Much Love,
Me.
.
