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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

On Aalap, and Relationships...


The very day I met Aalap for the first time, I managed to induce a strong sense of fear in him. That was a little over five years ago, but he is still as scared of me. Actually, even more, if that is possible.

Aalap is my junior from school. And we met through a common friend, Deneb. The day we met, we were at Deneb’s birthday party at this posh restaurant, and I was exhausted because I had just finished my first year final exams. All I wanted to do was to go home and SLEEP like I had never slept before. But all Deneb and the guys could do throughout, was tease me about something or the other. And I was too darn tired to retaliate. Finally, after the meal ended, and I almost got up to leave, everyone decided to order dessert. By then, I had positively lost it. I was exhausted, I was terribly sleep-deprived, and my juniors, many of whom I was meeting for the very first time that day, were taking my case ROYALLY. The only person I knew really well at the party was Deneb, so when we came back home (READ: AT ONE-THIRTY A.M.), and Deneb came to say good-night, I slapped him H A R D. And stormed off home.

I did not know it back then, but Aalap had witnessed the slap, and already decided by then that I was someone to be terrified of. So the next time he saw me, many months later, he was scared to even come up and say hello.

We became friends after Deneb migrated to Canada. Our conversations increased, and we found we had a lot in common. He even wanted to do Mass Media, just like me. In fact, we became so close, that I would often wonder how and why we were so connected.

I should mention at this point, that before Aalap was born, his parents had another son, who was just a few days old when he passed away. One day, Aalap and I were discussing birthdays, and how we knew a lot of October-borns. “My brother was also October,” he said to me. “He was born on the 2nd of October 1985, and he passed away on the 26th of October 1985.”

I froze.

“Are you sure it was the 26th of October, 1985?” I asked him. “Yes, my parents told me, and I’m guessing they would know,” he quipped.

And then, I told him. “Aalap, I was born on the 26th of October, 1985.”

For a while, neither of us said anything. Honestly, right then, I felt weirdly guilty, and I have NO idea why. It was as if I felt responsible for his brother’s death.

And then, Aalap said something I will never, ever forget. “You know, maybe God decided to take my elder brother away because he wanted me to have an even better elder sister.” I cannot tell you how relieved, how ecstatic that made me feel.

And that explained the connection between him and me.

Last year, Aalap and I had a fallout of sorts. He would not stay in touch, and that would drive me mad. In fact, it has been almost two years since I saw him last, and we live fairly close. He did not make any effort to call up, to apologise, and that really hurt me. I thought I did not matter to him any more.

But then, I called him one day, and he confessed how he had picked up the phone a lot of times and dialed my number, but cut the call before it could come through. All because he was scared of how I would react.

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Even though Aalap and I had our share of friction and lost out on a lot of quality time, I realized some really important facts. I understood that no matter what, things will always remain the same between us – we will always remain this connected – no matter the distance.

And the other - In today’s times, often the sole reason why a broken relationship is left broken, is one’s ego. It is just one small three-letter word, but it has the power to wreck the strongest and the best of bonds. And if we leave this monster out of our lives, and our relationships, we’ll be happier, and therefore healthier people.

Someday, when you have the time, think about someone you loved, but lost. It could be anybody – a lost love, a friend, a parent, a relative, anyone. And think about whether it would be worth your while to bring the person back into your life again. More often than not, it will. I promise you that.

For now, I better conclude this. I need to finish up with my assignments so I can be free on Saturday. You see, Aalap’s coming over, and we have a LOT to catch up on.

Adios!

Much Love,

Me.

6 Words Of Wisdom (WOWs):

Rishabh Kaul said...

I am so glad I read this.

Looking back, I am certain, I lost a lot of pals because of my ego and certainly, it wasnt worth it.

I'm glad that at least now I don't let it come in the way.

chandreyee said...

lovely misha...what you have written down is so true..sometimes we just let loose and the relationships are lost forever.

Gayathri said...

Really well written Tanushree!!
All of us do know that we should not be egoistic... but every once in a while we need a reminder like this to actually keep away from it. Thanks for reminding me to destroy the ego within me :)

Rakesh said...

Truly touchin... its really gud... and emotional.... gr8 goin gal

Mishree said...

@ everybody...

Thanx so much...and I'll be really happy if this makes a positive difference to anyone.No relationship is worth letting go of without a try,you know.Take care!

-Tanushree.

JP said...

nice post..!