I start work on Monday. Frankly, I am super-apprehensive. (I would have used a more politically incorrect term here, but I still want to look like a good girl, atleast to my fellow-bloggers who have still not met me ;-) ) Anyway, so I do not know what to do at work. I will be in Banking; Banking, which is a word that has always, always turned me off. I do not know how the people will be, I do not know what my job will actually entail (beneath the flowery, impressive job description, i.e) , and I do not know if my work-place will be at Vikhroli or at Parel. Yes, I am looking at that too. I don't want any more exhausting train travel every morning and evening.
And the truth is, I hate times like these when I am so confused. I do not like being unsettled. But like R once told me, I am perenially confused. I don't know if I will ever stop being unsure, frankly. But I believe I've shaped up fine this way, so while I can handle it, I'll let it be.
You know what I really, REALLY want to do, like never before? Go back to learning music. Which means, classical music as well as a musical instrument. Maybe the guitar, or even the piano. I want to sink into these activities whenever my work-life permits me, and drown all my worries in them. Really.
Speaking of music, I've missed it big time. But you know what, I just realised, Life is like a game of Musical Chairs. You run, you run to get to a place that you fit in, and even if you don't, you just have to force a fit or else you are out of the game. Sometimes, you are so taken with the idea of finding a place for yourself, that you forget to listen to the music. You stop enjoying it. It is only when you are temporarily out of the game, that you are able to listen to it again. And you want to start running.
I have no clue why I wrote this. Does it even make sense? Confusion doing its bit again.
I'll see you later.
Much Love,
Me.
